So after a while of being in school, I have really cooled down when it comes to making and maintaining friends. I have just let friendships be what they are and thats that. I haven't tried to make new friends, but if they happen I don't push them away.
This has created a cool thing. I have had more time to think and took away a lot of stress. Now here is where it gets weird. In the past I liked to pick people and become their friends one at a time. I did this this with quite a few of my friends and I struggled with doing this a lot. I did think to two guys I live with currently and have done this with quite a few of my current friends.
About two years ago, we were in the big ballroom at a neighboring University for my campus ministry and a new guy went up to speak about what God had been doing in his life. I thought the words the guy spoke were great and he carried himself well. I thought that if I hung out with him, I could become more confident and people would like me more. I leaned over to my friend I was sitting by and said, "He seems cool, I am gonna make him my friend...". The only thing my friend said was, "again...?" My friend had known about this ability I have of picking friends and pursuing them until I consider the mission completed and they are my friend.
One thing that I should explain, is that I pick certain friends for different reasons. Some friends are there just to hang out with, some are there to have deep conversations with and some are there to help me with my schooling. Regardless of which area they are in, I like all my friends the same.
I thought to myself, "well since he is speaking at this meeting, I can imagine that he will be a good friend to talk about deep things with". This thought came from me befriending people at this ministry and we always had deep conversations. Well over the next year or so, I "weaseled" my way into hanging out with him a couple times and we ended up going on a couple walks last semester. We both found out that we both liked to stay up late and talk about deep things effecting our lives. The great thing about this friendship was that we could vent about stuff and the other person didn't know anyone the other person referenced. This is because we go to different schools and hang out with different people.
After having some great convo's last semester, we parted ways for the summer, occasionally talked for a couple minutes on the phone during the summer. And then this semester hit, and we have walked a couple times and had some good conversations again. He has told me that this semester I seem more like a leader and mature. I took that as a compliment and thanked him.
The odd things is, I don't have a lot of good friends anymore, because I have not put in the time and have not tried to be there to continue the relationships. This is not a bad thing, just different than in the past. It was odd how the last person that I decided to be my friend, actually is my closest friend this year. Funny how those things work.
I hope that in the future I can make more friends and continue to grow and help other people in life.
Much Love & Respect,